What It Means To Be A Bad Spy....

"What you need to do is write a letter addressed to your younger self. That will help you deal with these unresolved issues."

My therapist, Mrs. Freud, was usually filled with good advice, but this one had me biting at the reins. Why write a letter to younger self? I didn't even know how to find my younger self...it had always traveled incognito.

At this point, I should be telling you my name, introducing myself. But then I wouldn't be much of a spy, would I?

I can tell you that I am a 21 year old gay man, who lives ina little place called Baton Rouge, Louisiana aka The Red Stick. But for 20 years, I was a man in enemy territory. I was a spy in a country I like to call the Republic of Heterosexuality. It was almost a year ago that I came out of the closet and immigrated to the Nation of Queeria, a land filled with gays, lesbians, and those lovable transsexuals.

But I still have to act the spy. I haven't come out to my parents, yet, or to my home community. Of course, the home community thing probably isn't going to happen anytime soon. I grew up in a place that I'll just call The Sticks. A backwoods, rural community where the word 'gay' was only heard from highschool jocks making fun of others and each other or the bare snipets you would catch on Will & Grace before the parents would change the channel and wonder out loud what TV was coming to.

The problem was, I was never a good spy. Even now, I'm pretty sure my parent's suspect that I'm gay. Apparently, as reported by my best friends, I was never good at hiding it. From obvious peeks in the boys' locker room to an overwhelming interest in Broadway musicals and Kathy Griffin, I have been acting gay as long as I can remember. Just took me a little while to find out.

This blog is dedicated to that younger me, in the hopes of resolving issues I apparently have. But fear, not, for this blog is also committed to being my observations of the Straight World, a world in constant turmoil and in whose company I participate all too often. I am your insider; I just hope I'm not as bad as they say...

Sincerely,
Your Spy