A New Gay Year

Time: 22:16
Location: The Red Stick

It seems to me like New Year's Eve--and, by extension, New Year's Day--is a very straight holiday all because of the concept of New Yea'rs resolutions. Gay people, especially gay men, don't really need a holiday to committ to something new or different; they do that every day. Whether it's through their wardrobe, home decorations, or even a silly thing like a blog, they always find some exotic way to fluff their life. They always try to exercise and stay fit, due to the overly shallow nature of men in general. Most New Year's resolutions seem obsolete for the gay man, and so, he is indifferent to New Year's Eve/Day, besides another occasion to flaunt and preen.

Tonight, my friends and I will celebrate the "holiday" indoors. We invited a small group of friends who remained in the city through the winter break to share in our festivities. I have two roomates, both girls, named Ashley and Amanda: Ashley is the girl who loves pink, Amanda is the physics major. I believe that that simple statement should serve to underlie basic personality traits. They are the salt and pepper to my steak of life. Ashley, the pepper, brings something new and different to my life on an almost daily level; Amanda, the salt, is my oldest best friend, and brings out the taste just by being there. Tonight, the three of us will celebrate with friends the coming of the New Year.

What I have noticed, however, as a spy in the Republic is the odd way that the straights treat their holidays. Most holidays, to the Republic's perspective, are more tedious than festive, more emotionally-draining than fun. Valentine's Day is the first to come to mind; I have noted that many do no even acknowledge this day anymore. New Year's Eve is beginning to be approached with a similar attitude: the dreaded New Year's kiss has them hiding in their homes. Christmas follows; while children may love Santa, most couples seem to find all the shopping and planning and forced family fun-ness to drain their souls. Easter is just another day they are forced to share with extended family; Halloween only brings the fear of egging and teepeeing to manicured yards. Only the Fourth of July, Labor Day Weekend, and maybe Thanksgiving are still seen as holidays that exist for the explicit purpose of enjoying one's self. Note, however, that alcohol and external circumstances (summer days for the former two, football for the latter) are largely responsible for this enjoyment.

It is also interesting to note that the Nation of Queeria is picking up these discarded holidays (think especially of Halloween) to satisfy its citizens. We seem to view each as another great makeover waiting to happen...all it needs is a little glitter and frazzle. I wonder how long it will take before the gay neighborhoods, bars, and clubs redo New Year's. Although members of the Republic may laugh, these holiday makeovers are not just hobbies to our people; they are a form of cultural warfare, further placing us within public perspective. He who rules the holidays influences, at the least, those who celebrate it.

So, tonight we celebrate a New Year. And while spies like me watch, citizens of Queeria await the coming of a cultural revolution, that may very well start with a man like Anderson Cooper covering Times Square during New Year's Eve. One very gay step at a time....

Sincerely,
Your Spy