The Five Gay Archetypes

An archetype, for those of you who don't know, is an idealized model of a person or object. The concept is of particular importance in Jungian psychology, where an archetype are innate, universal dispositions that are reflected from our collective conscience. Ouch, look at all those big words. Anyway, my short but colorful forays into Queeria have led me to believe that there are five archetypes for the gay man, a reflection of our collective conscience.

Femme Fagale
-you'll recognize this one from all the movies he's in...outlandish clothing, a voice as high-pitched as a dog whistle...if the overly expressive hand gestures weren't your first clue, then the overly gelled hair should indicate this archetype

The Savvy Sodomite
-looking for a database of irrelevant and little-known facts about the world of Broadway? Or the history of Russian ballet? How about a complete knowledge of fine wines? Look no further than this archetype, the skinny, fit, well-dressed (but not over the top), manicured specimen of a gay man. The consider themselves witty, and sometimes they are

The Happy Homosexual
-often overweight and without any male companion to speak of, these happy-go-lucky fellas are often blessed with the companionship of female friends a harem strong...while fashion is not their top priority, neither is it of no concern...these are the gay friends that married women will seek to help decorate their homes or try to hook them up with a fellow happy

The "I Can't Believe I'm Not Straight" Gay
-you can't believe, they can't believe it, their parents sure as hell can't...lacking many of the vitals of the gay stereotype, these former jocks and quiet intellectuals still wear polo shirts, don't know what America's Top Model is, and haven't a clue as to whose gay in Hollywood and who isn't...the only thing that makes them undeniably gay is the fact that they like to have sex with men

The Pappa Bear
-this ultra masculine gay man with the handlebar moustache and leather whip serves as the polar opposite to the Femme Fagale...unrestrained homosexuality is the name of his game, so gym goers beware...he can bench press 350 and yes, he's winking at you