The Closet Case

First off, sorry for the sporadic updates. I've made it one of my short-term goals to post more regularly...at the same time, I've also got a couple of ideas to spruce up the blog a bit and get some more people on that Google radar thing. But today, my topic of choice is something very near and dear to me: the closet case.

There's a boy in my student organization, who is so obviously gay it kills me. I know that we shouldn't stereotype, but the evidence against him is nigh insurmountable. He loves to dance to rap and "booty" music, he oils his hair back, he talks with a feminine-esque voice, and he hasn't had a relationship or hookup with any girl in the past three years (as long as I've known him). I just want to wrap him in a rainbow flag and throw him in the nearest gay bar.

At first, his closeted nature simply attracted my attention. At the time, though, I was still coming out of the closet myself; so, I was worrying about other matters than my fellow spies. After I came out, he became a running joke with my friends and I. Obviously, not the kindest path to take but, hey, who's perfect? Lately though, he makes me feel frustrated. Frustrated, because it's so obvious, and so many people joke about it, that it almost feels at times that he's making a fool of himself and maybe the gay population as a whole.

Undoubtedly, I should be more sympathetic, more understanding of his position (if he is indeed gay and in the closet). After all, for all I know he just might be in the utility room and I'm just not a close enough friend. He may very well be straight (ha, right). Regardless, the point I'm trying to make is that I should treat him better, maybe even approach him in some manner, as a fellow gay man. Offer him therapy.

Therapy? Yes, therapy. When we say the phrase "closest case", it's not a stretch to link it to psychology. Consider the phrase, "head case" or "basket case". Is being in the closet a detrimental, psychological disorder or fault? Is it something that needs to be corrected?

I would say, yes. And before you get your Calvin Klein underwear in a twist, think about the harm that can come from staying in the closet your entire life. You marry, have children, and begin experimenting with men. You realize, too late, that you made a mistake and as a result people's lives are ruined. Yes, the example is extreme, but it happens. It's not even that unheard of. It's important to say here that I don't think these people are wrong for coming out...they just could have saved a lot of heartache if they had come out sooner. The same way a clinically depressed person can save his or herself a lot of pain by seeing a therapist and taking medication regularly. Just think about all the inner turmoil that can be circumvented, by being honest with oneself. And if that takes a little therapeutic coaxing, so be it.

I don't know if one day the phrase "closet case" will make itself into the DMV, but for now, I'll try to do my part, and maybe ask Mr. Closet Case a couple of choice questions. Or, maybe I'll leave well enough alone, but at the very least stop making jokes at his expense. After all, you never leave a man behind.

Sincerely,
Your Spy