Bad Battery

Here in the Red Stick we've been having a typical Louisiana winter--a couple of warm days followed by a col streak. The only thing that's worse than the indecisive weather is what it does to my car. i use to think that col weather was bad for the car battery, period, but turns out that it's worse for the battery to be exposed to alternating warm and cold periods in quick succession. What does this mean? It means that at 8 o'clock this morning, my car wouldn't start.

It's actually been a real bad day for me anyway, not just because of the car. I got zero hours of sleep last night because of the incessant thoughts that went on in my head. It's Dave again. A single text message on Saturday night sent me back into the usual "does he? will he?" cycle. Hot, passionate scenarios followed by cold rationalization. That's what happened last night. Why won't he? Why does he? Is he just being friendly? Is he flirting? No, he's not flirting. Put that out of your head. You two hardly know each other. It's not like he's Anderson Cooper or something.

Hot, cold. Hot, cold. It wears down the battery in my car, and it wore down my mind until the world took on a monocolored hue. I lay in bed and stared at my ceiling for hours and arrived at the cold truth. Why was I obsessing about Dave? Why didn't I just be patient and wait for Mr. Right, as Amanda always suggests. See, the truth is, I'm lonely. I've never had a relationship...I've never even been to a restaurant for a date or anything like that. I lay in bed, feeling so lonely it almost hurt. And there wasn't an arm to comfort me...there wasn't even a response to a text message from Dave. Hot, cold, hot, cold. Jesus said the truth would set you free; he never said it would help you sleep.