Rating Rating Porn

So I was cruising the usual blog suspects, reading news articles about Zac Efron and trying to find a high-def version of the Star Trek teaser trailer, when I spotted a little snippet from one of my fave blogs complaining about the latest video from a popular gay porn website. It's one of those sites that feature "straight men" biting the pillow and allowing other men to put penises in their bums for some sum of money. I have a little trouble believing that, but we'll get to that later.

Point is, he was complaining that the model who had bottomed in the video was a bad actor. I use the term actor; he didn't, but he was describing the poor facial expressions and lack of, shall we say, spirit in the same way the Roger Ebert does in his reviews of movies.

I suppose it isn't hard to appreciate the irony here: I'm ranting about another guy ranting about porn. But I've noticed a steady increase in the practice of rating and reviewing pornography. It isn't hard to see that this new trend comes from the Internet itself and the ability to blog to your heart's content about what matters to you. And what matters to a lot of men? Sex, of course. Masturbation. The freedom of a man's penis.

My only problem is, rating pornography seems a little over the top. I remember my theatre professor saying that watching and enjoying any kind of theatre (or for that matter, any kind of entertainment) requires the willing suspension of disbelief. Your penis does not willing suspend its disbelief. Why need suspension when the concept of belief doesn't even exist in that pretty little pink helmet it wears? I guess I see the penis as a ravenous dog that is never satisfied; it will take any boner, er, bone that is thrown at it. Does it care if it's a cut of USDA choice meat? No. Because, in the end, your penis will have its way. So download whatever is closest and feed the beast, because you may not get another chance in the next 24 hours. So What are you waiting for? Step to it!

Sincerely,
Your Spy